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Resuming Sexual Activity After Gynaecological Surgery

It’s natural to have questions or worries about when and how to safely return to sexual activity after gynaecological surgery.
Your body needs time to heal — and it’s just as important to give yourself space emotionally and mentally as you recover.

Everyone’s experience is different. This guide is here to help you understand what’s normal, what to expect, and how to approach intimacy again with confidence.

When is it safe to have sex again?

For most laparoscopic, robotic, or vNOTES procedures — including hysterectomy, endometriosis excision, ovarian cystectomy, oophorectomy, or myomectomy — you can usually consider returning to sexual activity after your postoperative review, once your surgeon confirms healing is complete.

This is often around 4–6 weeks after surgery, but it may vary depending on the type of procedure and your individual recovery.

Once you’ve been checked and cleared:

  • Having sex will not harm or “undo” your surgery.
  • There’s no need to rush — it’s equally fine to wait until you feel ready physically and emotionally.

What you might notice

Your first few attempts at sex may feel different. You may experience:

  • Tightness, sensitivity, or mild pain at first — especially if your pelvic floor muscles are tense or you’ve not been sexually active for a while.
  • Changes in sensation, such as needing more lubrication or feeling slightly different during arousal or orgasm.
  • Mild pulling or stinging if a dissolving stitch is still present. Occasionally, a suture can be felt by you or your partner; it usually softens and disappears with time.

Mild discomfort is common and should settle with patience and gentle reintroduction. If pain persists or you’re unsure, reach out — there’s help available.

Tips for comfort and confidence

  • Take things slowly. There’s no timetable — go at your own pace.
  • Communicate openly with your partner about what feels okay and what doesn’t.
  • Use a generous amount of water-based lubricant. This reduces friction and helps if natural lubrication is reduced.
  • Experiment with positions. Choose those that give you control over depth and movement.
  • Start with non-penetrative intimacy. Touching, kissing, oral sex, or masturbation can help rebuild comfort and desire before penetration.
  • Avoid anything painful. Pain is your body’s signal to stop and reassess.

If discomfort continues, pelvic floor physiotherapy, topical oestrogen, or desensitisation strategies can help — you don’t need to put up with pain.

Emotional readiness

Many people feel nervous about resuming sex after surgery — even if healing has gone well.

It’s common to feel anxious, cautious, or disconnected from your body for a while.

You might find it helpful to:

  • Give yourself permission to wait until you want to be intimate, not just when you’re “allowed”.
  • Focus on closeness and pleasure, not just penetration.
  • Talk to your partner about your feelings — communication often makes the transition much easier.

If you find anxiety, low libido, or pain are affecting your relationship or wellbeing, please mention it at your follow-up — there are effective supports available.

When to seek review

Please get in touch if you experience:

  • Ongoing or worsening pain with intercourse
  • Bleeding after sex beyond light spotting
  • Any unusual discharge, odour, or swelling
  • Pain or a sensation of something “pulling” internally that doesn’t improve

A gentle reminder

Healing is not a race — and recovery includes your sexual wellbeing.

You can resume sexual activity when your body feels ready and you feel comfortable, knowing that your surgery is healed and safe.

I’m here to support your recovery — that includes helping you return to a fulfilling and comfortable sex life at your own pace.

FAQs

When can I have sex again after my surgery?
Most people can safely resume sexual activity after their postoperative check-up, usually around 4–6 weeks after surgery. There’s no rush — it’s just as important to wait until you feel ready physically and emotionally.
Will having sex damage or undo my surgery?
No. Having sex will not harm or “undo” your surgery. It’s safe to resume sexual activity when you’ve been cleared and feel comfortable doing so.
Is it normal to have discomfort or pain the first few times?
Mild discomfort, tightness, or a pulling sensation are common the first few times you have sex after surgery, especially if you haven’t been sexually active for a while. This usually settles over time. If pain persists or worsens, let me know — there are treatments and supports that can help.
What can I do if sex feels dry or uncomfortable?
Use a generous amount of water-based lubricant to reduce friction and make sex more comfortable. Try taking things slowly, exploring different positions, and focusing on gentle, non-penetrative intimacy at first. If dryness continues, ask about vaginal oestrogen or other options to improve comfort.
Can my partner feel the stitches?
Occasionally, a dissolving stitch can be felt by you or your partner during sex. This usually softens and disappears over time. If it remains noticeable or causes pain beyond three months, let me know so you can be checked.
What if I don’t feel ready for sex yet?
That’s completely okay. Emotional readiness is just as important as physical healing. It’s normal to feel anxious, cautious, or disconnected from your body for a while after surgery. Take your time, talk openly with your partner, and focus on closeness and comfort rather than rushing back into sex.
When should I contact my doctor?
Get in touch if you experience ongoing or worsening pain with intercourse, bleeding after sex (beyond light spotting), unusual discharge or odour, or if something doesn’t feel right internally. These can be signs that need review.
Will my sexual sensation or pleasure change after surgery?
Some people notice small changes in sensation, such as needing more lubrication or a different feeling during arousal or orgasm. For most, these changes are mild and improve with time. If you’re concerned about ongoing changes, pelvic floor physiotherapy or sexual counselling can be very helpful.
What if I’m nervous or anxious about having sex again?
It’s common to feel nervous — even if healing has gone well. Take your time, communicate openly with your partner, and don’t push through pain or fear. If anxiety or low libido persist, talk to your doctor; there’s support available, including counselling and physiotherapy focused on recovery and confidence.

See also

Please note: This information is general in nature and not a substitute for medical advice tailored to your specific situation.